I feel so fat and gross. I just want to be skinny and fit. But I love food so much. And I feel the need to not eat to be skinny. So uncomfortable in my own body. I was going to the gym real regularly, then I wanted to see Jake more, and I started making him a priority. I love him. I want to be skinny. I hate my stomach and inner thighs and arms.
Today, Jake invited me to lunch with his family but, I couldn’t go because mine decided to start yard work hours later than normal. I was super upset by this and even once I got to Jake’s, I was still in an awful mood.
So, he grabbed me by the hands, took me inside, and pulled me into him on his bed. And then he said, “Don’t be sad anymore, you’re not with them now, you’re with Jake, so smile.”
I don’t want to lose this feeling ever.
And not feeling a thing except for, “What was wrong with me?”